How to Better Love YOURSELF!

Loving who you are is a concept that I struggle with more than anyone! Sometimes, the more we struggle, the faster we sink, because we feel as though our only hope is to take it all in our control, and once we do that, we're doomed! In the end, our deepest, greatest, most painful struggles ARE the EXACT thing that brings the most glory into our lives...the moments where we learn the most valuable lessons. 

Lately, I have been learning a lot about what truly loving yourself looks like. With Valentine's Day passed (and not having a Valentine...haha), I decided to really dig deep into what love looks like towards me! A co-worker and dear friend said to me (in the midst of a conversation about Lent), "For lent, I am going to speak positively to myself. Instead of giving something up, I'm going to be more gracious with myself." I LOVE THAT! Since then, I have been trying to do the same!

A little background...I have been on this diet (and yes, it's a legit diet...not a healthy lifestyle! lol) and have been EXTREMELY frustrated with the lack of results, not to mention my hatred for food (which is never the case), and my lack of enjoyment for working out (which is also rare) and eating "clean" or healthy. If I got hungry, and ate a little extra food, I'd beat myself up for it. Granted, extra food consisted of salad! My relationship with food became unhealthy again, in the opposite way of what it used to be. I had a conversation with my mom, and she told me this..."Abby, you don't eat because your hungry; you eat because your palate is unsatisfied. You need to eat foods that you like, that taste good, and have a little "treat" everyday...not a cheat, but something that tastes good that you can look forward to, and you FEEL like you are having a cheat!" Chris (my trainer) also told me..."Eat what you want in moderation!" One of my managers said, "YOU HAVE TO HAVE A CHEAT!!!!! How have you not cheated since Christmas?!?" These several conversations had time to sink in, and here's what came out of it.

My mom was absolutely right...my palate was dissatisfied, and I hated and resented the fact that I "have" to eat clean. Not feeling motivated in training made me so angry, but it's because I felt like what I was doing inside and outside of training wasn't working. So what I did was added low calorie sauces into my diet...ketchup, salsa, honey mustard, etc, and it has transformed my life! No joke! That night, I had an all natural turkey burger, 1/4 avocado, and salsa! Felt like the greatest cheat meal of my life...AND I DIDN'T EVEN CHEAT!

I hated myself and couldn't find the motivation to keep myself going. How can you motivate someone you hate? Answer? YOU CAN'T. You CAN motivate and encourage and be gracious with someone you love, cherish, and admire. Similar to my last post about taking time to rest, loving yourself also means that you need to reward yourself with good-tasting food. Yes, reward yourself with food! Not to the point where you go crazy, but fit foods into your diet that you enjoy! My fitness pal has helped me keep track of my calories so I can stay under my calorie goal and still be in a deficit. Loving yourself means being gracious with yourself when you "lose control." But here's the thing...when you look forward to that little treat that you have at night (that fits into your eating for the day), it causes you to have greater control during the day, and when you do eat those foods, you don't feel like you need to go overboard (eating an entire jar of almond/peanut butter, eating an entire bar of chocolate, both of which I've done :)). 

Allowing myself to love on me in this way has transformed my life! No joke! The next few days, I started losing the weight I was holding onto (being less stressed and enjoying life), my training felt like it got better...I was motivated again (because I was able to push myself internally and motivate the person I love), and I was happy! My attitude changed! A co-worker said to me, "This is NOT the same Abby I talked to a few days ago!"

In what ways are you hating yourself? In what ways are you punishing yourself (for unnecessary reasons) for not being the person you THINK you need to be (or who others want you to be)? 

Saw a thing today that said, "Fat is not a feeling." Take a step back. Look at yourself objectively, and believe when those around you commend your hard work. Trust yourself. Love yourself. Shape yourself. BE yourself! Stopping where you are is only going to feed your fears. Hanging in there and pushing past your wall is what will make you successful!